10 Lessons To Teach My Son
My son is 15 months old, and he is at the age where he loves to copy behaviors. It has me thinking about what I want him to learn through our actions. You can tell a child how to act until your blue in the face, but nothing sinks in like your actions. I am a lucky woman. I have a husband who I would be proud for my son to grow up emulating. I do not take that for granted. I know that my son will learn 90% of what kind of man to become through watching the day to day behaviors of his father. The little ones that we don’t give any thought to. Thinking about this inspired me to write a list of 10 lessons to teach my son through the actions of his father.
The influential men in our son’s life will have the most affect on the man he becomes. Whether it’s a father, a step-father, an uncle or grandfather they will teach him with their daily actions. The choices they make with be the choices our son grows up believing are the right choices. It is a powerful tool to get important lessons across without ever saying a word.
10 Lessons To Teach My Son
1. Being wrong doesn’t jeopardize your manhood.
It is hard to admit when your wrong (I am terrible about it!). It is so much easier to dig in your heels and refuse to admit you made a mistake. I want my son to learn that being able to admit those mistakes is a sign of self confidence, not weakness. It takes a confident man to say he was wrong and know that it isn’t a reflection on his strength or knowledge or power.
2. Be a gentleman.
Open doors for women, pay for dinner, respect her boundaries. I want my son to grow up knowing that women should be treated with respect and kindness. I want my son to understand that doing these things are not a sign that women are incapable or inferior. It is a sign of respect and affection.
3. Be ambitious, not entitled.
It is good to have ambition. To want things for your family and yourself. I encourage a desire to better yourself. But be prepared to work for it. It is not OK to feel you are entitled to the things you want. You are not owed anything and no one has a responsibility to give you something just because you want it. You do have the right to work hard for your dreams and earn them on your own. To create your own success and happiness from your own efforts.
4. Be a good provider.
A husband/father provides many things for his family. Beyond income, a husband provides safety. His family should know that he has made it his job to protect them and keep them safe. A husband provides companionship. Simply living with your family is not good enough if you are not a key player in their lives. His wife should be able to turn to him more than anyone for a companion in both moments of joy, but also the difficult moments. Even if my husband is the one who has upset me, he is still the one I turn to to comfort me.
5. Be humble, but don’t lose your confidence
Be confident in who you are and strong in your convictions, but don’t ever let your own ego get in your way. Stay humble and let people discover how great you are on their own.
6. Learn to fact check
Don’t believe things just because you read it on the internet, or because your friend told you it was true. Do research, investigate the whole story. Too often people try to pass opinion as fact and you have to be cautious of their motives.
7. Know your value.
Don’t ever loose sight of your self worth. It doesn’t mean you put yourself first all the time. It means that you always know you matter as much as others and strive for balance and never sell yourself short. Don’t allow yourself to be mistreated. Don’t take those you care about for granted, and surround yourself with people who will do the same for you.
8. Be compassionate.
Don’t get so consumed by your own life that you forget to notice those around you. Whether it is your wife or a stranger, always be aware of the needs of others. If you are able to help another, do it.
9. Trust your gut.
Don’t ignore your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If your gut is telling you that someone is lying to you, they probably are. Your instincts are a powerful tool and can help you make the right choices in all parts of your life.
10. I will always love you.
You might upset me from time to time. You might drive me crazy at others. There may even be choices you make that disappoint me. It is so important for you to know above all that, I will always love you. No one will hope you succeed more than I will. No one will praise your qualities like I will. Know one will know every part of you both good and bad and love you as a complete whole as much as I always will.
Every family is different, and every mother has different wants for their sons. These are a few of the things I want for mine. If you know a mom with a son, please feel free to share this list with her!